Wednesday, March 23, 2011

PCB 2011: Day 1

Spring Break 2011
Date: March 13
MDP: Sisler
Day 1: And so it begins...

    Wake up, open up my mac and see my countdown timer for spring break has mere hours left on it. I had two pretty rough weeks before spring break with school and all, so I was ready to take shots to the dome and go HAM. For those of you who have been living under a rock all their life, HAM means Hard As a Mothafucka. It mean no fucking excuses, you drink copious amounts of alcohol, you basically rage until there is a single digit amount of brain cells working. Kapeesh?

    Bags are packed next to the door, sisler and jskank put on and take off the carryall multiple times. Sisler takes me to engineering to drop off my homework and then we hit the mall….roadeeing (naturally), get nothing accomplished at the mall (naturally), but manage to hit up the free samples in the food court (naturally).

    Tshreddys', schatzs', and mrazs' crews meet up with us at our place and we dipset to PCB. We had good intentions of carpooling all the way down, but we all got separated way too quick. The vibe was great; bowls being passed around, music bumping, everyone’s just shootin’ the shit. I still had a computer program to write by 10:00pm, so I was finalizing my program for a while.

    It’s getting dark out and we casually are getting the munchies. Steak & Shake? Yup. Do we bake before? Yep. If they didn’t know we were high, that is the reason why you work at a steak and shake. Oh we munched... and we munched hard. Look down at my cell phone, ohhh shit, it 9:30pm and I need to find some frumpin wifi. We find some a nearby hotel, yes. Submit. NOW…. my spring break has officially started. You might ask how I celebrated? Took a nap, typical.

    I was assigned to stay up with Kaiser while he drove several hours at 2 a.m. I did my best to stay up with him, but my best wasn’t good enough. Nap. When I woke up we were around 15 min outside of PCB. The sun is shining, the windows are rolled down, toss on the bro shades, and turn up the jams. We hit up a liquor store, Kaiser got rejected but I got the Pepe Lopez. I’ve never gotten wasted off tequila, but hey…it’s PCB.

    It takes forever to check into our hotel, figures. We can’t check in until 3:00p.m. so first hit up a BFW. A Big Fuckin Walmart. It takes forever to through walmart but we managed. We went back to the parking garages, change into the swimsuits, and hit up the beach.

    We are greeted by Tyler, Jim, Davis, Joey, Mussie, Henk-star, Phoebe and Bri. Where’s John?? Hmmm….hmm…hmm come on, its john, of course he will not be here on time. Probably packed at the last minute. We drank some brews and then tyler pulls out the volleyball. We find a nearby volleyball court  and we played volleyball for a long ass time; I would be taking pulls out of my mixer in between every point. I played awesome, duh. John got hit on by a guy.

          Random bro:  “HEY! Dude in the white shorts! Nice ASS!”
          John:  “................       “, he didn’t know what to say next.

    Everyone is antsy to go out and experience the nightlife so we all decide to head back upstairs. Jordan and I walk through the parking lot and are greeted by a southern security guard. He was guarding the door to leave the hotel…not to get in, to get out….why? no idea. He’s telling us we don’t have wrist bands so we have to walk all the way around, why? To make this guy feel like he is doing something really important. We argue with the shitbaby for a while and then we just said fuck it. Jordan tells the guy he’s gonna jump the fence and his response was, “I’ll call dem cops on you 2.”
Really?? You think the cops are gonna be concerned about two kids hopping a fence in PCB where there are 2.6 million college students?? You really think that’s their biggest priority??
So Jordan proceeds to say, “Oh yeah! Watch me!”…..toooodalooo mothafuckaaaa. Jordan hops that shit, and I follow. Later security douche, I hope we ruined your day.

    We all go up, shower and get ready. People start showing up at the our place and pregamming, and I ended up getting blacked out from a mexican man named Pepe Lopez. Luke and I passed the frump out on our bed at like 9:00pm. There was no way of avoiding it, I got so few hours of sleep that last week from fucking school, I was too exhausted to function. I woke up around 11:00pm and no one was at our place. They must have gone to the club... sure enough, they went to Guy Harveys. It was a brand new club who earlier had a real douchey bro promoter guy that came to our orientation to tell us how many sluts and hoes were going to be there. By the way, our orientation was a little intimidating. Just picture a crammed room filed with 95% bro. Please tell me it’s not always going to be sausage fest 2011.

    Anyywhooo, back to blackout me. I am texting people asking them where they went and what’s going on. Everyone is so far away at the club, by the time I would get there, they would be leaving. So I call up Joey:

            Me: “Joe, what are you up to?”
            Joey: “Whatrr you doiiinn? "
            Me: "Not much joe, wat r u doing?"
            Joey: "Nothing....wanna smoke a blunt?”
            Me: “Obvi….I’ll be up there soon.”

    Me and joe go to town on the greenery, but I can’t remember what happened for a while, I was gone. The next thing I remember is me being back in our room and people showing up from the club. We started shotgunning beers on the balcony and Luke got hamsauced. The hotel’s policy was that if you threw anything off the balcony, your entire room would be evicted. So…..Luke decides to take the empty crushed beer cans and start kicking them under the railing. I’ll admit I kicked one, but it got deflected off the bars and stayed in. Jesse put a real quick stop to our stupidity. The rest of the night was just a lot of mingling and drinking as usual. A lot of Wiz Khalifa and hashtagging going around.  We end up hitting the sac around 3am. I layed in bed (wasted), closed my eyes and thought about what day 2 was going to bring. There are only three words that come to mind, Listos....Preperados...YA!

Day 2-5 coming soon....

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